The Tenant/Landlord Relationship & Courtship - Essay

I have noticed that courtship and marriage are much like the tenant/landlord relationship, and I learned this from a young woman in my church many years ago. She was quite attractive in that dreamy blonde sort of way, but her temperament was all business.  When she told me about her engagement, she also informed me that she had only agreed to marry “John” if he would promise her that she wouldn’t have to work outside of the home after they were married.  I found this strange for a number of reasons. First of all, I had never heard of a woman making a condition before accepting a marriage proposal before. (I have since found out that this is not so unusual.) Second of all, the young woman’s mother was a very well known and successful business woman. Third, even though many married Christian mothers stay at home, many others enjoy working outside of the home for extra income, because they love their profession, or they just want a break from housecleaning and childcare.

“Mary’s” fiance was a passionate and earnest young man in a successful line of work. He quickly agreed; I suspect he would have agreed to any condition she had requested including jumping over the moon.  Now, many years later, they are still happily married and quite a force in the community.

I do not have much experience in marriage; however, I am an experienced tenant, and her conditions reminded me of what I have learned in the tenant/landlord relationship.  When looking for a home to rent, both the tenant and the landlord do some checking about each other. The landlord checks references and makes sure the potential tenant has adequate resources to pay the rent.  The  renter decides if she would like to live in the property and if the owner takes adequate care of the property.

There is one trick I have learned about landlords. If you, as a tenant, want something fixed on the property- make sure it is done before you sign the lease.  Once the lease is signed, very few landlords, in my experience, are quick to make repairs or changes to the property.  If you want the carpet cleaned or a new carpet, get it done before you sign. If you want new locks installed, a new refrigerator, a better washer and dryer, you need to make sure the landlord agrees to everything before you sign the lease.

This is the time when the tenant possesses the most power. The landlord thinks she will be a good tenant; he’s ready to be getting some rental income.  The tenant must be wise.  So it is with the young woman who is contemplating a marriage proposal. A much more serious and lifelong contract to be sure. Perhaps the young man in question spends much of his weekends watching sports on tv. Now would be the time to get an agreement of how much time he plans to spend on her or on mutual projects during the weekends post marriage.  Perhaps he is a slackard in the going to church department.  I would suggest then maybe she just needs to find another apartment, or er, man.  Women need to value themselves as much as my young friend did.  We are one of the most valuable gifts a man will ever receive in his life: we should make sure he knows how to take care of his gifts.  Just a thought before you sign that lease.